I could never really show / whats inside / my love. / May my words pay themselves / forward / these are my thoughts / they navigate my mind / they scale my throat / trying to throw / themselves out my mouth / but they never make it / they are confused / may they pay themselves / forward, from my brain / through my veins, from this / ink to this paper / may our minds in some / chemical way connect / we could grow / If we could learn to love / but we’re so busy / learning to live, / to love life / climbing to the / top, / of ourselves / we are stepping on each other / we are cells / we are chemicals / we are molecules / we are beams of light / we are dark / our intentions are dark / we are dirt / essentially. / we are not made for use / for our own purposes / pleasures / these are my thoughts / they are buried / if we could all free what’s / inside us maybe we’d grow / these are collections, they are broken // they are a result of purging of my / thoughts. / they breathe this paper, they / are living ink / they suffocate in my mind / and they take up space / free of filtering, finally / flowing, far from / fathomable faithfully / fashioned focused fragments / of my unescapable mind. / THOUGHTS / IDEAS / this is what’s inside / this is freedom / this could mean nothing / but still be worth something / this could make no sense / this is art. / maybe. / this very sentence could / contradict itself. // this is an expression of true beauty / for it is freedom / for it to not matter if anybody / ever read this, or if it even makes / sense. / I would compare finding my faith to the moon. / Say my faith in Christianity / is the moon. / I’m born / I’m told about the moon / I see it every night / routine / I move on in my life / and never really think about it / It just is / until one day I stop and / think about how I view it / it’s a small bright circle in the sky / it’s stationary, it only comes / in the routine. / But the moon is a sphere / it is huge and has so many // features to its landscape / It is always there, I / just don’t always see it / it is always moving. / How often do we look / at the moon and think / about that? How incredible / it is. It’s so hard for / us to fathom its greatness / because we’ve always seen / it as a small circle in the sky / I t has no dimension to / our eyes, no depth. / We have no natural sense / of its size. / Every time I look at / the moon I’m in awe. / And am also sort / of perplexed at how the / whole world isn’t just / wonderstruck every time / they see it, or anything else, / life, the workings of the / body, the heart, the spirit, the soul. // How can you see these / things and not always wonder? / How could we take them for / granted and just blow them / off and convince ourselves / that they just are? / That’s what happened with / my faith, I was born, and / it was there. I was told about / it, and it was seen as 2-D, / a circle in the sky, seen only / on sundays and summer camps. / And then one day I realized / It was so much more. It / took a few dark years to choke / that down and come to terms with / that and it was all the work of / God, but I realized it has / depth. God is something to / be awed, like the moon, in a / much more amplified way.